do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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