Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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