Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
