Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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