Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
