His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
