we're blogging at a bar
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
