how can u be prego again
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
