when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
