Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
