...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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