Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize