My sheets look like a crime scene.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
