have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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