90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize