i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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