We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize