I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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