Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
