i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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