i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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