im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
