"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize