your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
