omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
