If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
