Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
