i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
