just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize