Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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