I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
