I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
