No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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