Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
