if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're a waste of cheezeits
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
