Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fuck appropriateness.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
