I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
last night I used snow as a chaser
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
