when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
