dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize