whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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