Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
