ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
