Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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