"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize