I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
