You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pants 0. Shit 1.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
