Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
