I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
