bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
