I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
