Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
