Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
