what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you made out with another girl for some wings
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
