Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
