The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize