Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
