Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
