this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
