im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You took a bar mat shot.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize