At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
